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dream journal

6/12/2019: had three separ8 dreams because i slept like horse shit

6/4/2019: had a dream everyones friend twitter user jack 0 lanterns guest starred on the new monster factory. the game was a morrowind remake, where it was like, good? and not bethesda at all? like you were rewarded for building characters that lived in the culture, and the character that he made was an extremely fancy lad who wanted to be the worlds best chef, and this desire manifested as inventing cheezits, specifically, cheezits that were just one really long, floppy cheezit you unrolled and took bites out of. the series was cut short when the character was murdered in cold blood by an aristocrat for getting slop on the floor of their castle, and then the series was cut double short when it was found out that todd howard was leaving game dev to work at the field museum specifically so that he could satisfy his horniness for sue the dinosaur

6/1/2019: had a dream that was like. framed like 2007-era runescape. so imagine 2007scape while i talk about what happened next. i had an encounter with folks from another world who challenged me to fight them in a big castle. i died and respawned in lumbridge like 3 different times, and i went through the training courses and in these training courses they just gave you like. what is end-game material to a free player? so i would go fight these people and lose every time until i gave up and had to start climbing over my own gravestones to get to the fight itself and became a bartender at a boarding school? and one of the drinks that definitely was not something you drink on your own was straight honey + vanilla and it was themed after winnie the pooh and i was like "oh this sounds decent" but then i spilled it and spent 4 and a half dream hours cleaning it up

5/30/2019: had a dream that gwen and a mutual friend of ours from middle school were recording a flarp podcast. one arc had me meeting a dog and it biting me and i took real physical damage and then the next arc was a time travel arc where my character motivation was "okay so we're clearly doing this all again for some reason, what if we did something different" and it was cool as hell even if our mutual friend is kind of the reason i went to use 4chan in the first place and kinda fucked me up for the rest of my life

5/28/2019: in this dream i got into a fight with the ladybug from a bugs life over whether it was good praxis to blast green days american idiot at full volume while driving around town in a big fuckin domestic truck

5/24/2019: had a dream that i was an urbex fucker and was breaking into abandoned houses in the postocalypse world to find a Real Plant

5/22/2019: had a dream sburb 2 came out and instead of being wrapped up in chess and pool motifs it was in fact a beyblade game where you decked out your planets in spikes and gyroscopes and all those beyblade things and just let em fuckin rip on the battlefield

5/21/2019: had a dream in which i got to see the REAL detective pikachu after the original was just a test screening, the real detective pikachu included scenes of emolgas like. participating in dog fights with the us army, and an extended sequence about a cloned pokemon learning to deal with the fact that theyre not the REAL DEAL. like. some real davesprite shit. except then it turned into a sequence about their respective kid learning to love and trust them anyways, including a sequence where they had to save the girls from ojamajo doremi from drowning in a rising water trap set by the villain. like the dogfight is clearest in my mind its literally like. emolgas shooting planes out of the air and them landing in the river until one does a war crime and attacks a civilian jet. aikos pokemon friend was an onix and doremis was piglet from winnie the pooh

5/13/2019: had a dream that suddenly became lucid halfway through and instead of like. doing cool things with that lucidity i looked really closely and intently at the trees in my dreams and forced my brain to render trees up close in the dream space and now i feel like. pretty sick. my brain was not particularly good at it, it did not look right at all and i started feeling sick like immediately

5/12/2019: lots of dreams recently about scavenging places in post-apocalyptic worlds. had a dream i like. had a key to a house i had never been to, but it had a room ready for me, like my name lovingly painted above the door, and the person who owned the house came home and didnt know anything abt it. and in the room was like. Things I Knew In The Dream I Remembered but did not actually remember upon waking and breaking from the fiction of the dream and it was spooky

4/30/2019: had a dream in which i had to impersonate heroes-era john cho online to try and stop the world from just crumbling like a handful of dirt in a river and i wish i knew the lore to this dream at all bc this alone is whack

4/25/2019: had a dream that splendidland released a gba game. it was about ratatootie going to rehab bc he like. katamari damacied the fuck out of his restaurant from the ending. and all the levels were like. inside the house but since you were a rat they were all huge and it played like tony hawk. at one point ratatatatie falls off his sk8board and complains that his dick broke and i was so like. enamored with it that i @ d splendidland on twitter and asked what inspired it and she like. drew me flipping myself off

4/19/2019: had a dream i was trying to radicalize fictional music group houkago tea time. i did this by trying to set yui up with a nice communist girl and it did include the phrase "why do i fall for every communist girl who gives me the time of day"

4/10/2019: had a dream i could time travel by just remembering things and i chose to time travel to almost 15 years ago now, to more appropriately enjoy a cheesecake at a friends sleepover when i was 7

3/17/2019: had a dream that my friends at team slime were good enough at making good posts online that we had antitrust laws established against us that forbid us from doing anything but liking each others posts bc other forms of interaction were too powerful and monopolized the posts economy

3/12/2019: had a dream that lucretia from the adventure zone: balance was the dean of a college i was going to where she and sombra from overwatch introduced the new fortnite item, which was a bright green slime that you rubbed on yourself for no tactical purpose other than to do so

3/2/2019: had a dream the new video essay trend was patreon tiers where at a certain amount hosts would drive through a movie with you in real time? like. the movie is happening around you like VR, but inside a car, too, since it was all real. so i wound up watching the 8th pirates film with dan olson and the real time critique he focused on was. johnny depp was still in it and he was still playing jack sparrow but he was like. still in his vengabus costume from fantastic beasts. just, the evil wizard yetisports. there was a climactic scene in buckingham palace where he tries to do some sneaky pir8 doublecrosses but wound up just kidnapping the queen like a straight forward villain and then a dragon caused a hurricane in the middle of england by coiling around itself and striking the earth and it was on some independance day shit bc it just eviscerated everything and it was so cool i woke up

2/27/2019: extremely fucked up dream about being a horse scientist attempting to bring the species back from extinction with science and being in a lab and forgetting to wear gloves so the modified horse embryos would just stick to and meld with my skin and i had to pull them off and like. carved chunks of unbleeding skin went with it so there were just horse shaped holes in my arms and legs

2/19/2019: had a dream that kamala harris was ejected from the democratic primaries for not properly appeasing the robot moderator. like literally cartoon spring-under-the-seat ejected. and i got into a fight with someone on twitter over whether it was woke to eject a woman from the primaries with a spring-loaded seat for not properly appeasing a male-coded robot (this robot was literally just alexa)

1/29/2019: had a dream that season 6 of steven universe dealt with dismantling the power structures that allowed homeworld to exist in a very like. grounded way. like. pearl joined the DSA. there was a second peridot that was not the good and lovely one i think the lore was they used to be yellow diamond but they redistributed their power or something and they were just an absolute shithead in that vegeta-esque way that everyone that liked jasper wanted her to be

1/20/2019: had a dream last night that i was in a production of "the vine musical" that was directed by everyones friend/acquaintance/enemy jane crocker and travis mcelroy and i kept dipping out because it was at the same time as a thing where there was free pizza and travis got mad at me for ditching him during the musical numbers and getting garlic sauce on the costumes. it was a surprisingly miserable dream. like that doesnt sound like a good dream to begin with but like. its like the dream itself was produced by goddamn. edmund mcmillen. and as a reward for doing so good in the play i got a sticker that said "varsity football" on it

1/8/2019: had a dream i went to my grandmothers house to take care of her dogs but one dog was like. fucked up and it was like. literally how people try and render the annoying dog but with ps1 colors, and it was glitching the fuck out like a goddamn car boys but for dogs. turns out the help my grandma wanted was to stop that and whoever coded the behavior for the dog set it to follow the world object "parent" rather than its biological "parents" so it was just chasing its own tail at extremely high speeds and it was dumb enough that i woke up

1/4/2019: had a dream i was looking for wine in my house and couldnt find any but i found a bottle of Well-aged Door Odor, like. cologne but for a door. and i drank it and it was delicious and then i woke up

12/13/2018: had a dream in which i was escaping from some kind of family meeting but my family was the salamancas of breaking bad, and my friend SID took me to see the lion king but in order to get there we had to go through like. a broken-down public bathroom and someone in the front room couldnt actually see me, like. if they saw me id be kicked out so i just kinda chilled inside a bathroom stall and past there was a showing of the lion king but the animals all looked like vib ribbon models and instead of simba there was the cool grandma from the lorax doing funny dances and the audience was like. entirely hiveswap trolls and all i could think was "wow this is gonna be really hard to translate to 3D in the remake"

12/5/2018: had a dream the mall in town was finally dying after being on its last legs for a while and had a last day closing event. it was mostly just sad

12/1/2018: had a dream about The Pokegods for some reason. like it had all the trappings of a nightmare but. none of the tone i just had my dream glaceon love me so much it became a global layer of permafrost. it was actually really funny. bc it showed up on my party screen as static. but next to like, a regular pokemon. i say regular but it was a dream so it might not be regular. so it was like a bad creepypasta

11/10/2018: had a dream in which i was going to a high school lock in but first i had to get through the tutorial area of an mmo in which i learned i could just up and fly wherever and this completely broke the mmo so i flew back to the school which had. outdoor classrooms? and got some zza

11/7/2018: had a dream i was a dark souls player but the most heinous this abt this dream is that coffee was consumed through like. capri sun pouches and this was because they were all branded with hillary clinton. i found this out because SID was advertising them to me like a brand ambassador but i was too busy being dark souls

10/27/2018: had a dream a group of people i was travelling with renovated a closed down dairy queen. and turned it into a headquarters for a low orbit ion cannon. and not like closed like abandoned. closed like "we're done working for the day". dairy queen workers came in the next morning and had to work around the satellite tech

10/2/2018: had a dream that fortnite was ending. like, no more fortnite. and in doing this they had a big finale where the shifty shafts was filled with alien eggs that posed a Real World Threat, somehow, and it was on all 100 players to kill a really big alien and i had a very funny Heroic Sacrifice moment where i gave a big dramatic speech and lead a bunch of people who played fortnite to fight this alien. and then i got oneshot like the dude from spykids 3d. and i like. woke up and jolted awake and immediately threw my phone across the room. its fine. but i did worry for a moment

9/22/2018: had a dream that my friend tomomo MCed a school festival that i was very involved in bc i was directing the centerpiece event and that centerpiece event was satsuki kiryuin and griffin mcelroy singing karaoke

9/7/2018: had a dream i went to disneyland, but after the collapse of disney and there were only a few attractions left, one was a fountain of water that automatically flavored itself based on whatever you last ate. it was gross. one was like a mario thing where he stepped on goombas in a dark ride and each coin was like $1,000 usd. and the centerpiece was Scrunbo The Killer Goriller. which was a gorilla in a cage that flexed at children but didnt actually do anything else. there was a fake newsman that was like. "we all know in the end, though hes dangerous, scrunbo the killer goriller is a family favorite"and you could buy scrunbo scrubs, like. medical gear emblazoned with his face. for like 99c. also i was luigi in the dream. but in the way a person controlling a character in a video game is

8/22/2018: had three bespoke dreams and one was sniper dueling my own clone from the top of a moving car, one was some kind of class i took in the middle of the night, and the last was driving around campuses trying to find a kid who i had been ordered to get mcdonalds for

6/30/2018: i had a dream i was a stage assistant on a musical theater version of george miller's happy feet, that was commissioned by rap icon big boi, directed by john woo, written by skyler white, and my job was taking care of the performers. who were dogs. so thats where im at

6/17/2018: had a dream i went to a technical college to learn how to maintain servers. except the building it was in was in another dream and in that dream the building was a casino, and one of my mandatory classes was pokemon battling. and they made a big deal of poison types and fire types being goopy and thus bad to hug and then it was a live tv show. and so they were like. performing big pokemon battles and i was just like. i wanna learn fuckin. node.js

6/5/2018: had a dream i tried to convince austin a pokemon card was worth more than it was because i had pokemon cards but not money and wanted some skittles and so i gave him the tauros card and he got the skittles and immediately upon returning he tore up the card and ate the skittles and then i woke up

5/26/2018: had a dream i found the secret Wonderful! 2 feed where griffin and rachel mcelroy review abstract concepts and vote on whether they are wonderful or not and if they arent wonderful they're erased from existence. in the dream i was the thing that was up for debate on whether i continue existing or not. i woke up before they voted. things that did not previously make the cut:

4/24/2018: fell asleep for a bit and had a dream that in early minecraft there was a hidden Bird boss that you could only access by finding a hole in the bedrock layer and riding a chicken with a saddle into it so you would land safely and not just cr8r and upon waking up i was so sure this existed i searched the minecraft subreddit for "removed bird boss yuna" and only snapped out of it after dropping my phone on my face. i was so mad for like 30 seconds that notch killed the bird boss yuna i was ready to get on twitter about it

1/28/2018: had a dream pop from ojamajo doremi somehow had dirt on all might from bnha that was enough to blackmail him into assisting her in a talent show but the song pop wanted to put on was 20 minutes of prog rock so it was a fiasco of trying not to expose all might

10/27/2017: had a dream last night that i was at a crj concert and she like. killed it but what she performed was the super metroid soundtrack? like. thats all there is to say i just think its important to put that tidbit out into the world

7/14/2017: i had a dream that i was buying advertising for a game and when i was putting up the ad, no matter how much i changed it when i put it up it was a jpeg of justin mcelroy drinking carbonated milk with the text "you deserve this"

6/8/2017: had a dream i found out that ruby and austin were collabor8ing on a callout blog for me, but instead of listing bad shit ive done they just listed species of spiders
(nico made this one real: @thevriscourse-receipts)

2/8/2017: had a dream that hotel mario ended with mario going on a date with the final pam. and that i found this out through a game grumps animation in which the hit starbomb track luigis ballad has an alternate outcome because of this date. and that i got paid $10,000 for making this animation.

12/1/2016: had a dream that hillary clinton pushed my friend jess off stage at the 2020 democratic national convention because jess was talking about persona 3 and hillary clinton really needed to tell the world she was kin with sans

11/7/2016: had a dream i was in a theater and the seats were arced to be around the screen like an amphitheater but the screen was flat? and i was there with a lot of high school students and there was a concession stand at the back where they made subway sandwiches and pizza and i ordered a personal pizza and it was super expensive. the movie started and gwen, jess, and kanaya were there, gwen was snooping in the background and jess was making sandwiches. we were there to watch whatever the mcelroys were filming (future vicki note: this later wound up being the mbmbam tv show but that wasnt out yet) and it was like a spy kids thing? after it ended my pizza still wasnt done so i got up and walked around for a bit and when i got back mara wilson was assuming control as mayor of the world. kanaya was extremely offended and started pulling up a list of lizards that she was afraid of and were more qualified to be mayor than mara wilson and then i twisted my leg in real life and woke up

10/28/2016: had a dream last night that Homestuck Volume 15 was released and it was just 2 tracks, a 30-minute rock opera about Nepeta by Tensei and a 6-second clip of Toby Fox saying “fuck you”.

10/17/2016: had a dream i was in a biker gang with my friend jess, kanaya, and okuyasu. we got into a fight with a rival gang that was made up of joseph joestar from part 4, polnareff, and the aimless renegade. AR was shooting at us nonstop and he was shooting faster than okuyasu could vaporize the bullets so i kicked in his kneecaps and stole his gun and got on my motorcycle and drove to the end of the street which abruptly ended in like, a conflict resolution center and i spent easily a month of dream time in the conflict resolution center, learning how to resolve conflicts without violence, and one of the things they suggested was to let my hair down and flick them with the hair tie instead of breaking their legs and when i got out my gang was there like "welcome back!" and i was like "i think im done with the biker gang life" and then immedi8ly got on my bike to start another fight

9/16/2016: had a dream i was like an information runner and i had to quell a schism between some kids at a high school because their parents had enough power between them to like shatter the structure of society? like they were explicitly sects of christianity too. and one of the kids wound up being killed or something and i had to like take his soul to a forest so i could resurrect him with magic or technology or something so i like. stole some kids motorcycle and drove off. and jess was like in my ear piece talking shit and trying to help and then like. overwatch was there. like the entirety of the overwatch cast was trying to stop vriska on a motorcycle carrying the soul of a dead kid. and i like. slid under reinhardts shield and he just fucking blew up???????? and jess was in my earpiece like “bought military scum bags” and i landed at the memorial for project purity