you are in the spider zone

exits are NORTH and WEST


return home

dream journal

1/26/2020: had a dream that i was trapped in a school building bc i was at an awards ceremony and someone brought a gun and was like. tracking me down to kill me and i managed to disarm them but when that ended i wanted to go home but each exit to the school led into another school dnd in one case jotaro was staring meanacingly out of the only door and on the other side was dio. i only managed to escape by checking for a homestuck 2 update where everything unfucked itself and the homestuck 2 site redirected to super homestuck 23, that my wife jackie, and someone i didnt recognize, were writing and the moment i saw jackie in the dream i ran to hug her but she didnt recognize me :pensive: she still hugged me back tho

1/25/2020: i had a dream jackie and i were on a competitive team for bad video game brawlhalla and we were in the most 80s-ass basement ever with like. wood panelling that smelled like smoke for this competition and when we won the other teams had trapdoors fall out from beneath them and they were fed to the big w8r monster in half life that i dont remember the name of (its an icthyasaur)

1/25/2020, again: i dreamt i was alone in this big circular field that was. kind of like a baseball field but not for baseball, it was surrounded by suburban houses, and the sun was going out. not down, out. and when it finally extinguished the minecraft ui popped up and from the houses a fucking ton of minecraft villagers spilled out, and astronauts landed, like. people in space suits. and the music playing is like this. drone of a high b, on a piano except every so often itd drop like. B / B / B... B / B C Bb and it was REALLY fucking eerie. and its dark and hazy and its like. cold in the fiction of the dream and extremely hot in real life and the villagers and astronauts started attacking me until i found the Muscle Sacrifice villager who i had to like. kite and poke at with what was like a baseball bat, but not until i knocked off one of the skulls impaled wholly through its arms and when i tried to circlestrafe around it it just cut me off, lifted me up and flipped me over its shoulder and i assume i died because i woke up.

1/15/2020: had a dream i went fishing with rikka takarada from ssss.gridman and she kept fishing up like. puzzles. at one point she fished up a rubiks cube and we had to figure out how she did it but i got a bite at the same time she started talking so i had to look away from her in-universe subtitling

1/4/2020: had a dream i went back to high school but while under extreme duress and i was packing my own lunches and my lunch consisted entirely of a tub of jalapenos soaked in brine i wound up trading to some teen. when we went back to class i played a minecraft mod that made it more like left 4 dead but the nether was changed to be this decaying forest, and there were these squids that would fly close to you, and youd have to back off from them or get killed but most importantly they had these really complex tendril anim8ions that like. warped the original model. anyway after that i went home and played minecraft again except the mod i played in school was like. half-installed. you could see the 8r8kpoints for everything and all the mobs like the squid or the tank zombie were replaced with in-game assets so there were just spiders divebombing towards me and warping incomprehensibly and the brick roads through the forest would show up? but they were tough to follow and then teamm8 roxy punched a hole in a tank a nd then i woke up

12/30/2019: had a dream i wanted to go out and get some food from iconic 8r8king 8ad loc8ion the dog house, but couldnt drive so i asked for a ride there and said it was alright, bc i had my phone, and if necessary, i would just say "paypal can teleport me home", because they could, and did before. (note: they have never done this. not even in dreams. but i was so convinced of their ability to that i woke up and checked to see if they could)

12/29/2019: the dream i had was whatever but this thing kept happening where i always had chewing gum in my mouth no matter what and it gave the whole dream, which was about me shirking responsibility for a commission i didnt want to do, a whole lot weirder

12/23/2019: had a dream about infiltrating the vents of a school buildign as i tried to convince the principal of the school to wear a fursuit that was rigged to explode

12/21/2019: had a dream that by finding a certain eyeline with certain objects, like. if you looked through the keyhole of a door, and then through a kaleidoscope that then reflected bits of whatever, i dont remember the exact order of things, you could like. i guess the only way to frame it is "enter debug mode" and i wound up inverting gravity for the whole planet and everyone died!

12/19/2019: dreamt that the shrieking shack read homestuck and xeecee got cancelled for not shipping vrisrezi

12/17/2019: had a dream about going back to school which was not fun conceptually. in practice it had the 8r8king 8ad split where it felt a lot less goofy than it was. i had a class called "shout" where the teacher was my good friend vivi who spent the whole time drawing on the walls and after that i woke up because two bad 3d models of students were goin at it in the halls and i broke into a vending machine for some oreos and the front coming off the vending machine caused them to ragdoll

10/31/2019: had a dream i went to hunt down mike from 8r8kybad bc he was up to something in my dreams and when i finally got him my brain fucking unspooled itself and he became a mr game and watch or perhaps a living shadow not unlike peter pans and i chased his shadow through my house as it rapidly changed from my house to some kind of cave that i had to fish him out of. the bottom was like. maybe 350 feet down and glowing and my method here was to make as many ham sandwiches as possible, just throwing them into this pit with my friend austins help and we did it but on the way back austins phone died and he lost all his progress on his ham sandwich variety counter and he was sad about it

10/25/2019: had a dream i was banned from the competitive homestuck cart racer community because i was competing as sloane and not as vriska

10/24/2019: had a dream i was going to college and i went to an on campus pizza hut to get my prototype gameboy advance back and it was taken over by someone and the whole rooms center of gravity shifted and the room flooded and when we fixed it somehow, all the pizza was fucked up and i gave up my weird protogameboy for a protogamecube, that i stole from scar lionking who was the one who did the flooding and then i texted my friend maxie and was like "i got a gamecube" and she gave me $15 for it

10/22/2019: had a dream i found like. a chill hang portal, like a nexus between worlds where i could go and then find places to just chill after i think we evacu8d a planet? i wound up like. travelling to a bunch of festivals and stuff and stealing everything. one of my best finds was a like. sk8 rink arcade necklace that played karkalicious in that really tinny bad speaker way, and my friend nico took the portal and brought me to a secret world in which the inhabitants were uh. hyper realistic family guy characters, and it was in this world that i had the tastiest fuckin dream food id ever had in my life. and then my fucking karkalicious necklace went off and i woke up

10/21/2019: had a dream that jackie and i went to dinner with the mcelroys and we spent the whole time arguing over whether pixars up was a good movie. i had a whole, live fish on top of a bowl of mashpot8o and i didnt want to eat it, and when it came time to leave griffin tripped over a pikachu on his way out of the restaurant and said "just what i needed, a gay little rat getting in my way" and jackie snortlaughed so hard i woke up

10/17/2019: had a dream i was going to an energy drink symposium where they were hosting a game where the joke was like MONSTER manual and you had to answer questions abt dnd creatures and win snacks forever. snacks as far as the eye can see. sponsored by the energy drink ofc. and i went there to win but my brother was also there like. reading my mind to try and steal my answer before i could say it. so i got into a fight with him that sprawled out into the parking lot, and we got on motorcycles to chase each other down and these motorcycles were like. 2d pixel art sprites, billboarded like a 90s fps game. and i chased him down to a house we used to live in but dont anymore bc it was fuckin. deemed unsafe to live in and i went in to try and claim my prize. and i found a bird in the corner and used my equipped item, a copy of the album lush by snail mail, to scare it off. and i found out that someone else had worked on this album and their name was thomas kedrig and when i woke up i googled them and theyre not real so that name just exists in my brain now

10/1/2019: i had a dream that i was in high school in 2009, and on 4/9/2009 i found andrew hussies phone number on an old blog and started texting him dumb memes from the future, and i accidentally invented homestuck myself by feeding hussie knowledge of homestuck from the future, while trying to escape from my family to fuck off and get something to eat at a local football game and thats how my dreamscape is

9/24/2019: i had a dream i was employed picking up coins out of a gr8 on the side of the road and every day i would bring back all my coins to my dad so i would pick up like. $5 in quarters and that was my job and im sure this was not a metaphor for anything at all i swear

9/21/2019: took me a moment to remember my dream but i dreamed i stole a baby from ronald reagan and kept it on a school playground since i cant take care of a child myself and i had to watch over it and keep it from eating worms and i spent the entire dream just fuckin getting worms out of that babys mouth

9/18/2019: had a dream i went to a cabin out in the woods to escape some kind of zombie plague that i think might have been rel8d to the homestuck epilogues? and it was a weird meta space where like, i couldnt use discord from my phone because someone spilled orange juice in the kitchen. the way i passed the time was playing like. a pokemon-like game that like. it was a weird, long-form battle royale where you had to drop into the region and catch a pokemon and battle other trainers like it's fortnite instead of pokemon. but then you could also only be One trainer, like you couldnt be red if someone was already red and my friend nero got mad because blue and gary oak were mutually exclusive because of that despite not being the same character.

9/12/2019: had a dream i went to mcdonalds but it's in this weird bit of like. continuous dream setting i've got like. i was in college and i could cross the street and walk through the park for a bit to get over to the gas station that was a hybrid gas station macrossnalds. this area shows up in my dreams a lot

8/28/2019: had a dream i went on vac8ion and used the time in the car to play a new pokemon game and it was like. centered around a hotel in-game as well as the dream and this hotel was like. a hotspot for pokemon extreme sports that all took place over this big lake. and the evil teams mascot was a big fuckoff dragon that was made of fire, not like, on fire, more like if you took the outline of a lighters fire and used it to draw a dragon. they inciner8d the lake and it turned out this lake was the source of life for all pokemon so like, all the pokemon that existed turned to stone in a process the game referred to as "pokemorte". and the player had to go into this now very shallow lake alone, in the dark, surrounded by like. statues of what used to be pokemon, and save the pokemon at the bottom which was like, originally a gigantic milotic but like. by the time you got to it was like. burned and singed and also definitely not a milotic, it was like. a milotic naga. and you had to make friends with it on your own with no pokemon partners and when you did it sprung back to life and activ8d a bunch of old structures that would help fix the world and most of them were like huge, orn8ly designed magitech lookin things, except one of them was a machoke with a really big hammer named Jim Hammer. and then the title card dropped and i woke up

8/27/2019: had a dream i was trying to invite eris from billy and mandy to a holiday party and had to like, call her in from what i fucking GUESS is a spirit phone!!!!!!!! i GUESS and the way you had to do it was light a candle under a christmas ornament and the glass would crack and form her phone number that you had to write down before it broke. the spirit phone had an instant replay button so i scrubbed over the frames of it a lot to try and get it down and then gave up and pulled out the spirit phonebook and flipped to the "gods and movie monsters" area code and called each number sequentially until one of them was godzilla and smashed the phone and i woke up

8/25/2019: had a dream i was running around a warehouse, avoiding hector from breaky bad, because he ran the warehouse and it wasnt like a meth warehouse it was like. i stole chocolate oranges from him.

8/21/2019: had a dream i went on a fake undercover d8 w jackie to infiltr8 an evil organiz8ion that was trying to bring vegeta back to life, except he was evil again, and the bad guy was set to reveal this at a fancy dinner on a cruise ship and i infiltr8d it but my cover was blown when off the hook started performing and pearl singled us out on the kiss cam and it exploded into an action sequence where i blew up the boat and escaped on a rainbow life boat with pearl and marina and jackie

8/15/2019: had a dream i starved to death at the dairy queen hotel

8/12/2019: had a dream i went to a scout camp with my dad and all his scout camp friends and we were on lockdown bc whoever was leading the country enacted some kind of gun control law that really was "we're coming to take your guns" and i was being dragged along to a safehouse and the safehouse got found by whoever because i uploaded a mario maker level from there and we got into a car chase that ended with us crashing onto a cliff and everyone driving and shooting drove off into a lake, somewhere in italy i think? the top of this like, pl8eau then spun out to show like, a cork base like WV's except if it was in we happy few instead of homestuck. there were band fliers and antifascist posters all over it (LOTS of folk punk fliers. legit 7 out of 8 folk punk) and a door opened and i was brought to the truest antifa hq, a tv set for an old kids show where we filmed new episodes as some kind of subversive act. there was a constant struggle to keep things from leaking and my cast members were people i genuinely dont know or remember but at one point in italy i ran into our friend peridot at a restaurant and they asked if i could introduce them to mario, i gave thrm some cookies and left bc mario was VERY busy that day. and then i woke up.

8/6/2019: had a dream that someone built like, a twilight zone maker. like mario maker but for twilight zones. and i kept trying to get it to work over and over but i could never dish out karmic punishments and then it turned out the whole time that WAS my punishment

8/5/2019: had a dream i was at a summer camp that was like. a major point for a coup attempted by like. newgrounds-era animators and when they started their coup we had to like. stop them by finding our way to the well that the camp pulled from during a tense firefight. at one point oneyng got on a small train with a bfg on it and drove it straight at me and i got out of the way and messed it up by shooting an electrical box so it slowed to a stop in front of me after i dove into a pit of snakes. one of the people i was making my way through this bizarre event with commented on how "that was some real mage of space shit you did there" and i was so mad about them being wrong about my classpect i woke up

8/1/2019: had a dream we had to evacu8 the earth-C solar system (see: earth and its many, many moons, since we brought all the sburb planets with us) because of a hostile alien invasion and our ambassadors for peace were turned into zombies by the aliens that were invading. jade and jane set up a huge cool cyclone that people would travel through to get to the safehouse and i was tasked with going to the ambassador ship and being a sci-fi horror video game protagonist. the only other person on the ship who was left alive was waypoint's austin walker and he would drop these mixtapes for me that like. vaguely explained the plot and one of them was just the entirety of clipping's album splendor and misery. to do moves i had a health bar and a green Fluids bar and there were little zombie guys like. barely ankle-high, scurrying around in hazmat suits and carrying around these huge needles that i had to walk into, to get fluids back. i was then woken up

7/31/2019: had a dream my special boy miles morales was a hall monitor at a high school. this high school's been in my dreams a few times. it's always the same. the top floor has both the principal's offices and a huge amphitheater. the principal's office has got a U shape to it, the U shape from a gigantic bookshelf, with a tiny receptionist's desk between the tips of either side of the U. the stairs down to the floor beneath it has no railing on one side. in one dream, these stairs were centered with no rails, in this dream, they've been aligned to the wall but still lack handrails. the first floor has an overhang over a social worker's office that's lined with lockers and theres an alcove that leads into a daycare and theres more lockers there. its a like. pretty common place i could probably map it out by hand at this point. anyways miles helped me get my locker open since it was like. a future locker and the wiring was fucked, and he was clearly trying to hide his powers while using them to open it and doing just an awful job at doing so and when my locker finally opened thirty fucking mad max cars spilled out one after another and we had to race to get my shit in my locker back

7/26/2019: had a dream that criticism changed the media underneath it and that in star wars episode 9 kylo ren was defeated by changing the story to such an extent he walked out of his castle wearing fingerless gloves as shoes because it was warped so much that it was the best ending for his arc

7/22/2019: had a dream that i was like. yelp reviewing apocalypses. like i had little jars of apocalypses and i would open them and theyd happen and i'd write em down on clipboards and mail them off to the manufacturer. one was labeled "big porkchop" and i wish i remembered what it did. then i had another dream i was at a games convention in kill la kill cosplay (ryukos ep1 outfit with the cool jacket and her scissorblade bein kept in the guitar case) and i looked good as hell. that was the dream i just killed it at a con. and then i woke up and fell back asleep and had a 3x dream combob and at this games convention i asked hussie in person what the fuck was up with him and then ran over him with a forklift after he drew kanaya and rose melting into slime and posted it on the hs website

7/21/2019: had a dream i was working on my homestuck thing and i was in extremely deep, like. i think the page number of the thing i was working on was like page 35143 which is way longer than it should be. lil cal was in it for some reason and it was set to a track i wish i could remember more clearly bc it wasnt a track that already exists, so i think i just completely jumped the shark and when i hit export on the anim8ion i was working on for it lindsay ellis like. hijacked my dream to make a point about how theres a default file name in their video editor so they shouldnt be mad that all her videos are named 35143.mp4 or some shit like that and i looked her dead in the eyes and renamed the file right there and then i woke up

7/20/2019: had a dream i finally watched flcl progressive and it was about miles morales trying to convince the girls from madoka magica to assassin8 reigen arataka because he stole miles's touhou figures and sold them to haruko. when he got them back marisas broom had never knows best written on it

7/18/2019: lots of dreams lately. back when i was like, 8 my grandmas neighbors kids were like. friend-adjacent. i didnt go up to my grandparents that much since they lived like an hour and a half away and suburban country clubs dont have much in the way of appeal for 8 year olds, esp during times when gas was like $7/gal but when i did id hang out with them. like the dinklebergs but with kids. ditklebergs. so in this dream i had to steal a laptop from their house, while people were in it, except now it was an extremely heavily armored house with like, laser traps and alarm systems and shit. and i had to get a laptop out of there. my crew for this was the cast of the first homestuck anim8d movie. which was. a heist movie? like it was jane and roxy doing a fucking heist movie. and they kept recasting roxy between appearances because everyone had the fame and power of playing roxy lalonde go to their head. eventually i found a lull in their like. schedules but then got distracted by a cute girl and spent 5 hours just hanging out with her without ever catching her name and only leaving when she wanted me to don8 to joe biden. eventually i left to drive away into the sunset with this laptop in jane and roxys cool car and the last minute sequel hook was that the car was humungous entertainment's iconic putt putt.

7/16/2019: had a dream we were at war with giant elephants. it was deeply post apocalpyse, with the land being desertified, and we were "at war" in the same way that like, anthills go to war with people that step on them i guess. and the only thing we really had in this war was big gushers-like pods that you put people in pointy hats in that elephants would step on like legos and people would be able to wriggle around inside, conceptually, but in practice they mostly just got squished to death and like. concussed when the pod around them popped. this war was known as the GREAT MISCHMASCHISCHE (pronounced "mish mash") and it had taken out most of humanity. my brother filled up his gushers pod with vape cotton so that when he got stepped on it would all come out at once.

7/15/2019: had a dream that kaycee vanillavial asked me to compare me, vriska, in homestuck to me, vriska in a new trigger property made up entirely for the dream, called "let's be great!!!", which was a flcl-like miniseries set parallel to the homestuck epilogues and taking place entirely within a "coil" which i guess is the gurren lagann term for an altern8 timeline? i think the lore was like. "every turn of the drill in a giga drill breaker expends enough energy to power an entire universe, heres what those universes were", i read on the box that there were many coils like this and the interest of being "fun" was more important than being "right" and in this coil, i, vriska, was a ginger girl who clung to walls and shit except sometimes id turn people into clay and eat their heads. at some point it started raining and never stopped, for years and years and years, and the world flooded. after my mom tried to get me to narc on my brother for smoking weed in the basement, i travelled 300 miles from my home to the library to try and find a book on how to build the ultim8 treasure from legos and playdoh and then once i did a like, game started, and i had to keep people from killing kana from flcl: alternative who was reading the book out loud and charging some kind of spell. at one point dirk strider rode up out of a sewer grate and his parachute pants smelled like shit water, and jafar from aladdin hit me with his snake staff thing so i turned him into clay and stole his arms and then i woke up

7/13/2019: had a dream all my teeth fell out. what a normal dream to have.

7/10/2019: had a dream i was in a community college but instead of doing like, ged classes or whatever, i was competing with the other students to be the new avatar and one of the final exams to see if you could be the new avatar was building a machine out of redstone in minecraft and i was doing so well at it that other students started putting together assassination attempts on me

7/5/2019: had a dream that i got super mario maker 2 and the first level was me driving through a sonic level at max speed as ryuko matoi to help her brother who is uh. still luigi. hes still there. i was helping him fight off a big shark. then i woke up and fell back asleep and the dream, still framed like a mario maker level, was about trying to navigate a social situation in which my racist and violent grandmother owed me a lot of money in such a way where i got the money and did not upset her to the point of violence. most emotionally draining mario maker level ever

6/25/2019: had a dream i partook in the scratch but for this universe, and i survived and remembered but nobody else did so i got to go around my old high school telling my uhhhhhhhh. friends is too nice but acquaintances is too distant? pals. i got to tell my pals how i'd remember them in a dystopic 2019, and that i'm from another universe and the biggest difference in the reset universe is that janelle monae never got into music which was a big enough change in culture to make people less good and more prepared for a game of sburb

6/12/2019: had three separ8 dreams because i slept like horse shit

6/4/2019: had a dream everyones friend twitter user jack 0 lanterns guest starred on the new monster factory. the game was a morrowind remake, where it was like, good? and not bethesda at all? like you were rewarded for building characters that lived in the culture, and the character that he made was an extremely fancy lad who wanted to be the worlds best chef, and this desire manifested as inventing cheezits, specifically, cheezits that were just one really long, floppy cheezit you unrolled and took bites out of. the series was cut short when the character was murdered in cold blood by an aristocrat for getting slop on the floor of their castle, and then the series was cut double short when it was found out that todd howard was leaving game dev to work at the field museum specifically so that he could satisfy his horniness for sue the dinosaur

6/1/2019: had a dream that was like. framed like 2007-era runescape. so imagine 2007scape while i talk about what happened next. i had an encounter with folks from another world who challenged me to fight them in a big castle. i died and respawned in lumbridge like 3 different times, and i went through the training courses and in these training courses they just gave you like. what is end-game material to a free player? so i would go fight these people and lose every time until i gave up and had to start climbing over my own gravestones to get to the fight itself and became a bartender at a boarding school? and one of the drinks that definitely was not something you drink on your own was straight honey + vanilla and it was themed after winnie the pooh and i was like "oh this sounds decent" but then i spilled it and spent 4 and a half dream hours cleaning it up

5/30/2019: had a dream that gwen and a mutual friend of ours from middle school were recording a flarp podcast. one arc had me meeting a dog and it biting me and i took real physical damage and then the next arc was a time travel arc where my character motivation was "okay so we're clearly doing this all again for some reason, what if we did something different" and it was cool as hell even if our mutual friend is kind of the reason i went to use 4chan in the first place and kinda fucked me up for the rest of my life

5/28/2019: in this dream i got into a fight with the ladybug from a bugs life over whether it was good praxis to blast green days american idiot at full volume while driving around town in a big fuckin domestic truck

5/24/2019: had a dream that i was an urbex fucker and was breaking into abandoned houses in the postocalypse world to find a Real Plant

5/22/2019: had a dream sburb 2 came out and instead of being wrapped up in chess and pool motifs it was in fact a beyblade game where you decked out your planets in spikes and gyroscopes and all those beyblade things and just let em fuckin rip on the battlefield

5/21/2019: had a dream in which i got to see the REAL detective pikachu after the original was just a test screening, the real detective pikachu included scenes of emolgas like. participating in dog fights with the us army, and an extended sequence about a cloned pokemon learning to deal with the fact that theyre not the REAL DEAL. like. some real davesprite shit. except then it turned into a sequence about their respective kid learning to love and trust them anyways, including a sequence where they had to save the girls from ojamajo doremi from drowning in a rising water trap set by the villain. like the dogfight is clearest in my mind its literally like. emolgas shooting planes out of the air and them landing in the river until one does a war crime and attacks a civilian jet. aikos pokemon friend was an onix and doremis was piglet from winnie the pooh

5/13/2019: had a dream that suddenly became lucid halfway through and instead of like. doing cool things with that lucidity i looked really closely and intently at the trees in my dreams and forced my brain to render trees up close in the dream space and now i feel like. pretty sick. my brain was not particularly good at it, it did not look right at all and i started feeling sick like immediately

5/12/2019: lots of dreams recently about scavenging places in post-apocalyptic worlds. had a dream i like. had a key to a house i had never been to, but it had a room ready for me, like my name lovingly painted above the door, and the person who owned the house came home and didnt know anything abt it. and in the room was like. Things I Knew In The Dream I Remembered but did not actually remember upon waking and breaking from the fiction of the dream and it was spooky

4/30/2019: had a dream in which i had to impersonate heroes-era john cho online to try and stop the world from just crumbling like a handful of dirt in a river and i wish i knew the lore to this dream at all bc this alone is whack

4/25/2019: had a dream that splendidland released a gba game. it was about ratatootie going to rehab bc he like. katamari damacied the fuck out of his restaurant from the ending. and all the levels were like. inside the house but since you were a rat they were all huge and it played like tony hawk. at one point ratatatatie falls off his sk8board and complains that his dick broke and i was so like. enamored with it that i @ d splendidland on twitter and asked what inspired it and she like. drew me flipping myself off

4/19/2019: had a dream i was trying to radicalize fictional music group houkago tea time. i did this by trying to set yui up with a nice communist girl and it did include the phrase "why do i fall for every communist girl who gives me the time of day"

4/10/2019: had a dream i could time travel by just remembering things and i chose to time travel to almost 15 years ago now, to more appropriately enjoy a cheesecake at a friends sleepover when i was 7

3/17/2019: had a dream that my friends at team slime were good enough at making good posts online that we had antitrust laws established against us that forbid us from doing anything but liking each others posts bc other forms of interaction were too powerful and monopolized the posts economy

3/12/2019: had a dream that lucretia from the adventure zone: balance was the dean of a college i was going to where she and sombra from overwatch introduced the new fortnite item, which was a bright green slime that you rubbed on yourself for no tactical purpose other than to do so

3/2/2019: had a dream the new video essay trend was patreon tiers where at a certain amount hosts would drive through a movie with you in real time? like. the movie is happening around you like VR, but inside a car, too, since it was all real. so i wound up watching the 8th pirates film with dan olson and the real time critique he focused on was. johnny depp was still in it and he was still playing jack sparrow but he was like. still in his vengabus costume from fantastic beasts. just, the evil wizard yetisports. there was a climactic scene in buckingham palace where he tries to do some sneaky pir8 doublecrosses but wound up just kidnapping the queen like a straight forward villain and then a dragon caused a hurricane in the middle of england by coiling around itself and striking the earth and it was on some independance day shit bc it just eviscerated everything and it was so cool i woke up

2/27/2019: extremely fucked up dream about being a horse scientist attempting to bring the species back from extinction with science and being in a lab and forgetting to wear gloves so the modified horse embryos would just stick to and meld with my skin and i had to pull them off and like. carved chunks of unbleeding skin went with it so there were just horse shaped holes in my arms and legs

2/19/2019: had a dream that kamala harris was ejected from the democratic primaries for not properly appeasing the robot moderator. like literally cartoon spring-under-the-seat ejected. and i got into a fight with someone on twitter over whether it was woke to eject a woman from the primaries with a spring-loaded seat for not properly appeasing a male-coded robot (this robot was literally just alexa)

1/29/2019: had a dream that season 6 of steven universe dealt with dismantling the power structures that allowed homeworld to exist in a very like. grounded way. like. pearl joined the DSA. there was a second peridot that was not the good and lovely one i think the lore was they used to be yellow diamond but they redistributed their power or something and they were just an absolute shithead in that vegeta-esque way that everyone that liked jasper wanted her to be

1/20/2019: had a dream last night that i was in a production of "the vine musical" that was directed by everyones friend/acquaintance/enemy jane crocker and travis mcelroy and i kept dipping out because it was at the same time as a thing where there was free pizza and travis got mad at me for ditching him during the musical numbers and getting garlic sauce on the costumes. it was a surprisingly miserable dream. like that doesnt sound like a good dream to begin with but like. its like the dream itself was produced by goddamn. edmund mcmillen. and as a reward for doing so good in the play i got a sticker that said "varsity football" on it

1/8/2019: had a dream i went to my grandmothers house to take care of her dogs but one dog was like. fucked up and it was like. literally how people try and render the annoying dog but with ps1 colors, and it was glitching the fuck out like a goddamn car boys but for dogs. turns out the help my grandma wanted was to stop that and whoever coded the behavior for the dog set it to follow the world object "parent" rather than its biological "parents" so it was just chasing its own tail at extremely high speeds and it was dumb enough that i woke up

1/4/2019: had a dream i was looking for wine in my house and couldnt find any but i found a bottle of Well-aged Door Odor, like. cologne but for a door. and i drank it and it was delicious and then i woke up

12/13/2018: had a dream in which i was escaping from some kind of family meeting but my family was the salamancas of breaking bad, and my friend SID took me to see the lion king but in order to get there we had to go through like. a broken-down public bathroom and someone in the front room couldnt actually see me, like. if they saw me id be kicked out so i just kinda chilled inside a bathroom stall and past there was a showing of the lion king but the animals all looked like vib ribbon models and instead of simba there was the cool grandma from the lorax doing funny dances and the audience was like. entirely hiveswap trolls and all i could think was "wow this is gonna be really hard to translate to 3D in the remake"

12/5/2018: had a dream the mall in town was finally dying after being on its last legs for a while and had a last day closing event. it was mostly just sad

12/1/2018: had a dream about The Pokegods for some reason. like it had all the trappings of a nightmare but. none of the tone i just had my dream glaceon love me so much it became a global layer of permafrost. it was actually really funny. bc it showed up on my party screen as static. but next to like, a regular pokemon. i say regular but it was a dream so it might not be regular. so it was like a bad creepypasta

11/10/2018: had a dream in which i was going to a high school lock in but first i had to get through the tutorial area of an mmo in which i learned i could just up and fly wherever and this completely broke the mmo so i flew back to the school which had. outdoor classrooms? and got some zza

11/7/2018: had a dream i was a dark souls player but the most heinous this abt this dream is that coffee was consumed through like. capri sun pouches and this was because they were all branded with hillary clinton. i found this out because SID was advertising them to me like a brand ambassador but i was too busy being dark souls

10/27/2018: had a dream a group of people i was travelling with renovated a closed down dairy queen. and turned it into a headquarters for a low orbit ion cannon. and not like closed like abandoned. closed like "we're done working for the day". dairy queen workers came in the next morning and had to work around the satellite tech

10/2/2018: had a dream that fortnite was ending. like, no more fortnite. and in doing this they had a big finale where the shifty shafts was filled with alien eggs that posed a Real World Threat, somehow, and it was on all 100 players to kill a really big alien and i had a very funny Heroic Sacrifice moment where i gave a big dramatic speech and lead a bunch of people who played fortnite to fight this alien. and then i got oneshot like the dude from spykids 3d. and i like. woke up and jolted awake and immediately threw my phone across the room. its fine. but i did worry for a moment

9/22/2018: had a dream that my friend tomomo MCed a school festival that i was very involved in bc i was directing the centerpiece event and that centerpiece event was satsuki kiryuin and griffin mcelroy singing karaoke

9/7/2018: had a dream i went to disneyland, but after the collapse of disney and there were only a few attractions left, one was a fountain of water that automatically flavored itself based on whatever you last ate. it was gross. one was like a mario thing where he stepped on goombas in a dark ride and each coin was like $1,000 usd. and the centerpiece was Scrunbo The Killer Goriller. which was a gorilla in a cage that flexed at children but didnt actually do anything else. there was a fake newsman that was like. "we all know in the end, though hes dangerous, scrunbo the killer goriller is a family favorite"and you could buy scrunbo scrubs, like. medical gear emblazoned with his face. for like 99c. also i was luigi in the dream. but in the way a person controlling a character in a video game is

8/22/2018: had three bespoke dreams and one was sniper dueling my own clone from the top of a moving car, one was some kind of class i took in the middle of the night, and the last was driving around campuses trying to find a kid who i had been ordered to get mcdonalds for

6/30/2018: i had a dream i was a stage assistant on a musical theater version of george miller's happy feet, that was commissioned by rap icon big boi, directed by john woo, written by skyler white, and my job was taking care of the performers. who were dogs. so thats where im at

6/17/2018: had a dream i went to a technical college to learn how to maintain servers. except the building it was in was in another dream and in that dream the building was a casino, and one of my mandatory classes was pokemon battling. and they made a big deal of poison types and fire types being goopy and thus bad to hug and then it was a live tv show. and so they were like. performing big pokemon battles and i was just like. i wanna learn fuckin. node.js

6/5/2018: had a dream i tried to convince austin a pokemon card was worth more than it was because i had pokemon cards but not money and wanted some skittles and so i gave him the tauros card and he got the skittles and immediately upon returning he tore up the card and ate the skittles and then i woke up

5/26/2018: had a dream i found the secret Wonderful! 2 feed where griffin and rachel mcelroy review abstract concepts and vote on whether they are wonderful or not and if they arent wonderful they're erased from existence. in the dream i was the thing that was up for debate on whether i continue existing or not. i woke up before they voted. things that did not previously make the cut:

4/24/2018: fell asleep for a bit and had a dream that in early minecraft there was a hidden Bird boss that you could only access by finding a hole in the bedrock layer and riding a chicken with a saddle into it so you would land safely and not just cr8r and upon waking up i was so sure this existed i searched the minecraft subreddit for "removed bird boss yuna" and only snapped out of it after dropping my phone on my face. i was so mad for like 30 seconds that notch killed the bird boss yuna i was ready to get on twitter about it

1/28/2018: had a dream pop from ojamajo doremi somehow had dirt on all might from bnha that was enough to blackmail him into assisting her in a talent show but the song pop wanted to put on was 20 minutes of prog rock so it was a fiasco of trying not to expose all might

10/27/2017: had a dream last night that i was at a crj concert and she like. killed it but what she performed was the super metroid soundtrack? like. thats all there is to say i just think its important to put that tidbit out into the world

7/14/2017: i had a dream that i was buying advertising for a game and when i was putting up the ad, no matter how much i changed it when i put it up it was a jpeg of justin mcelroy drinking carbonated milk with the text "you deserve this"

6/8/2017: had a dream i found out that ruby and austin were collabor8ing on a callout blog for me, but instead of listing bad shit ive done they just listed species of spiders
(nico made this one real: @thevriscourse-receipts)

2/8/2017: had a dream that hotel mario ended with mario going on a date with the final pam. and that i found this out through a game grumps animation in which the hit starbomb track luigis ballad has an alternate outcome because of this date. and that i got paid $10,000 for making this animation.

12/1/2016: had a dream that hillary clinton pushed my friend jess off stage at the 2020 democratic national convention because jess was talking about persona 3 and hillary clinton really needed to tell the world she was kin with sans

11/7/2016: had a dream i was in a theater and the seats were arced to be around the screen like an amphitheater but the screen was flat? and i was there with a lot of high school students and there was a concession stand at the back where they made subway sandwiches and pizza and i ordered a personal pizza and it was super expensive. the movie started and gwen, jess, and kanaya were there, gwen was snooping in the background and jess was making sandwiches. we were there to watch whatever the mcelroys were filming (future vicki note: this later wound up being the mbmbam tv show but that wasnt out yet) and it was like a spy kids thing? after it ended my pizza still wasnt done so i got up and walked around for a bit and when i got back mara wilson was assuming control as mayor of the world. kanaya was extremely offended and started pulling up a list of lizards that she was afraid of and were more qualified to be mayor than mara wilson and then i twisted my leg in real life and woke up

10/28/2016: had a dream last night that Homestuck Volume 15 was released and it was just 2 tracks, a 30-minute rock opera about Nepeta by Tensei and a 6-second clip of Toby Fox saying “fuck you”.

10/17/2016: had a dream i was in a biker gang with my friend jess, kanaya, and okuyasu. we got into a fight with a rival gang that was made up of joseph joestar from part 4, polnareff, and the aimless renegade. AR was shooting at us nonstop and he was shooting faster than okuyasu could vaporize the bullets so i kicked in his kneecaps and stole his gun and got on my motorcycle and drove to the end of the street which abruptly ended in like, a conflict resolution center and i spent easily a month of dream time in the conflict resolution center, learning how to resolve conflicts without violence, and one of the things they suggested was to let my hair down and flick them with the hair tie instead of breaking their legs and when i got out my gang was there like "welcome back!" and i was like "i think im done with the biker gang life" and then immedi8ly got on my bike to start another fight

9/16/2016: had a dream i was like an information runner and i had to quell a schism between some kids at a high school because their parents had enough power between them to like shatter the structure of society? like they were explicitly sects of christianity too. and one of the kids wound up being killed or something and i had to like take his soul to a forest so i could resurrect him with magic or technology or something so i like. stole some kids motorcycle and drove off. and jess was like in my ear piece talking shit and trying to help and then like. overwatch was there. like the entirety of the overwatch cast was trying to stop vriska on a motorcycle carrying the soul of a dead kid. and i like. slid under reinhardts shield and he just fucking blew up???????? and jess was in my earpiece like “bought military scum bags” and i landed at the memorial for project purity